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DIARY With the creativity of our species, we adapt to a new life

For those of us in the performing arts the coronavirus lockdown means taking our shows online

IN MY case, the pandemic has meant learning a whole new way of doing things.

Facebook Live is my broadcaster and my office is now a live studio. To my right, the huge cactus which is not far off reaching the ceiling now has a nutcracker in the form of Margaret Thatcher sellotaped to it for atmospheric effect.  Fingers were damaged in the process. 

Backlighting is provided via the red glow from the bulb in my corn snakes’ vivarium and a bank of lights last used at the local Balcombe anti-fracking camps by Neil, an activist from Yorkshire who lived with us for a while until his untimely death six years ago.

A selection of posters from my gigs round the world, crowned with a mosaic featuring legendary Seagulls striker Peter Ward, provide the backdrop. It's presided over by a brooding Dalek collection which can be called upon to provide the “Exterminate!” when I do my satirical poem Asylum-seeking Daleks.

A huge collection of musical instruments completes the backdrop when necessary. I don’t have to lug them around in the car any more. They just stay where they are. The audience comes to me.

I struggled with, and eventually mastered, the online technology and so far have done three live shows, all well over two hours long and all fundraisers for those suffering most in these desperate times.  

The first one, last Saturday week, was a big fund raiser for Pauline Town and Joe Solo’s brilliant We Shall Overcome initiative, and the subsequent two for our local food banks here in the Sussex port town where we live. The latter have raised over £1,200!

I am astonished that I have achieved this, given a lifelong inability to understand even the simplest tech. I’m even more astonished at the number of people who have watched — well into the thousands — and at the generosity of the donations. Thank you one and all.

Anyone who would like to view my efforts please simply visit facebook.com/attilathestockbroker and scroll down. You’ll find them. I have well over 24 hours’-worth of material, so each show is very different.

The first two were full of my radical poems and songs as performed at my gigs round the country. Last Wednesday was April Fools Day so I indulged myself with a full set of the most disgusting, puerile stuff I’ve written over the last 40 years, entitled Knob Gags and Sleeping Bags.

If you care to visit, you will find references to cheeses unavailable in even the most imaginative delicatessen. All in a very good cause.

But now I am pausing my shows for a while and concentrating on promoting the huge Isolation Festival, which Joe Solo and comrades are organising on Saturday April 11, a week today, with all donations going to We Shall Overcome.

It runs from noon till midnight and will now be headlined — as if such things matter — by my old '80s sparring partner Billy Bragg and the brilliant Grace Petrie. There is an absolute cornucopia of radical poets and musicians lined up and if you would like to be a part of it you need to sign up at https://www.facebook.com/groups/isolationfest

The delay in imposing the lockdown was unforgivable and makes it even more important that we look after each other.

Stay safe. And cheer our wonderful NHS and all those workers looking after us in so many different ways to the rafters.

Despite the Tories best efforts we know the true meaning of the phrase “essential workers” now.

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